Flexing Our Gratitude Muscle

What if exercising gratitude were like exercising a muscle? What if the more we used it, the stronger it became and the easier to tap into?  Gratitude has allowed me to reframe my relationship with grief and the people I have lost. Instead of focusing on what I no longer have, I choose to be grateful for loving them and grateful for the impact they had on my life. I am grateful that they still live within me and for the lessons they taught me. 

Grief changes who we once were. A constant heaviness of heart exists. Yet within that heaviness, there is an opportunity to lean into gratitude and bring in some light. When I’m feeling down, counting my blessings and sharing my gratitude has a way of helping me pass through the journey of grief.

Although it's not easy to feel grateful when everything feels so bleak. I know it's easier to tap into anger, sadness, and loss. Practicing gratitude starts with one gentle step forward. It doesn't have to be a huge step.

On each day, think about where you can take a moment and find something to be grateful for. My friend Adair Cates has taught me to Pause, Notice, and Choose, and I am sharing this with you, too. 

• Pause: Take a deep breath and look around you
•  Notice: Notice the birds singing, the clouds, the sunrise and sunset, the flowers
• Choose: Choose this moment to be grateful for

When I practice gratitude while in the depths of grief, I am NOT pretending that the pain doesn’t exist, nor am I no longer sad. Instead, I choose to honor both emotions: I am sad, AND I am grateful. For me, it has become an "AND" choice, vs. an "Or" decision.

Today, these are the moments I am thankful for, even though my heart is still full of loss. I'm thankful for the love I had, for my memories, for the lessons of resilience I've learned these past few years, and thankful for the opportunity to share this with you.  

Please know, although this practice doesn’t remove grief, what it does is bring some light into the darkness. One of my favorite quotes is by Rumi: The wound is the place where light enters.

Here's to finding moments of light beside the wound, reminding you that love and light still exist, even in loss.

If you need support in the grief process, please reach out to a professional therapist or grief counselor.